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This week we’re sharing some strategies for solving the perennial problem of how to separate our professional and personal lives - something that nearly every teacher I know struggles with.

I Used To Find It Impossible To Switch Off. And It Made Me Ill

This one’s from the heart…

More than anything else in my career, I’ve struggled with separating my life from my work.

Honestly, it’s been almost impossible at times to see where my life ended and teaching began.

I’m pretty sure you know that feeling, or can think of a colleague who feels the same way.

How did it look in real life?

Poor Self-identification. I’d describe myself as a teacher, and couldn’t really think of another way of defining myself. That should’ve been a bit of a red flag, but in truth, I didn’t notice.

No switching off. I found it almost impossible to create boundaries between life and work. Evenings, weekends, holidays… all focused on teaching, even when they didn’t actually need to be.

Resentment. Weirdly, because I spent all my ‘free’ thinking about work, when I was actually at work, I just wanted to be doing something else. Crazy, but undeniably true…

Not good for me, not good for my students.

Fortunately, I found the strategies that helped me compartmentalise my life and work and keep that line of separation clear.

How did I go from frazzled to focused?

I’ll explain…

3 Strategies That Will Help You Separate Life And Work Right Now

So, when I realised I had to change the way I thought about life and work, I went on a bit of a research trip. I knew I had to learn to compartmentalise - create barriers between home and school - but I had no idea how to do it.

Ultimately, I had to commit to changing three specific aspects of my day-to-day process…

Once I began investing time and energy into these strategies, I started to transform the way I approached my work, relationships and goals.

Yes, these techniques helped me become a better teacher.

But they also helped me become a better person, and that made all the difference.

1. Setting External & Internal Boundaries

Teachers can’t always leave work at work. It’s naive to suggest otherwise.

But we can create the boundaries necessary to recognise which ‘mode’ we’re in and switch between them accordingly.

Start by setting some practical boundaries that involve physical (or external) elements. This might mean creating a specific workspace at home where you only do school work (and, importantly, don’t do school work anywhere else in the home).

Set specific hours during which you’ll check work emails and messages when you’re at home. I found this extremely difficult at first, but ultimately, nothing is as important as your health and wellbeing, so set timings and stick to them.

Sometimes you have to get things done, and when I could, I would stay at school late to finish things, rather than doing them at home. That way, even if I was late back, I knew I was done for the day.

Limit the amount of work you bring home with you, especially in the holidays or at weekends. Just bring the urgent things with you. Bringing big bags of unachievable work home for half-term is soul-destroying. Those bags just sit in the corner until you take them back in with you unfinished. You’re literally just carrying your burdens around with you!

You can also set emotional (or internal) boundaries that create a signal to your brain that you are switching from one role to another.

I found that listening to a regular playlist on the drive home helped me to leave work behind. It took me on a journey, reconnected me with myself and gave me the chance to ‘shift identities’.

Another tried and tested internal strategy is to identify a particular aspect of concern (classroom behaviour, for example). Create a negative cartoon of it in your mind (a single picture of the worst it could possibly be). Then flip the imaginary paper over and create another image on the back, which is the ideal situation (the best-behaved, most engaged class ever). Leave it this side up in your mind and then visualise a filing cabinet. Put the drawing in a drawer, shut the drawer and hang a sign on the filing cabinet that reads “For Tomorrow.”

Even today, I still take a few moments when I first get home from work to visualise myself leaving any anxieties, worries, stresses and demands at school. Then I visualise a literal barrier around myself and my home that my work worries can’t penetrate, before seeing myself going back to work the next day refreshed and ready for what comes.

It doesn’t mean I don’t work at home if I have to. It just means I don’t let myself stress about it.

2. Managing Thoughts, Beliefs and Emotions

If you find yourself constantly thinking about work outside of work hours, or if work stress is interfering with your personal relationships, it's important to take steps to manage your thoughts, beliefs and emotions.

One way to do this is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. When you catch yourself thinking about work during your personal time, gently bring your attention back to the present moment. You can do this by focusing on your breath, your surroundings, or your activity.

There are loads of great resources out there, and Mind has a fantastic selection of techniques here.

I found these three strategies to be especially helpful when it comes to teaching:

• Label your emotions. When you notice a work-related thought or emotion creeping into your personal time, label it as such. For example, you might say to yourself, "I'm thinking about work right now, but I'm going to put that on hold until later." This helps you to identify and acknowledge your thoughts and emotions, without getting caught up in them.

• Challenge negative thoughts. If you find yourself having negative thoughts about work or your personal life, challenge them. Ask yourself if the thought is really true, or if it's just your anxiety talking. For example, if you're thinking, "I'm a terrible teacher," ask yourself if there is any evidence to support that thought. Or, if you're thinking, "I’m not giving enough to my students," create a list of all the things you do and the positive impact you have.

• Change your beliefs. What you believe about yourself will, often, come true. So I learned to use this to my advantage. Rather than believe that I was destined to work all evening, or that I should spend all my weekends and holidays on school stuff, I started to change the beliefs I held about myself. You can do the same. For example, instead of believing, “I must spend this weekend writing a new teaching resource at the expense of time with my family,” reframe this to, “I will spend this weekend engaging with my family and building relationships. I will spend some of my time on school work, but not at the expense of those around me.”

3. Prioritising Recovery And Self-Care

I was never the most important thing in my life.

That had to change.

I was always going to be committed to my work, but I realised that if I wasn’t committed to myself first, I probably wasn’t going to be able to sustain my career.

I had to make time for myself, even if it felt awkward at first. Even if, when I looked at my schedule, it seemed like an impossible task.

Here’s how I prioritised my recovery and self-care…

1. I scheduled at least one activity each day which was for me, not for anyone else. That could have been a five-minute walk in the sunshine, gaming or arts and crafts. The hard thing to get to grips with was that my activities didn’t need to have a productive outcome. The process was the outcome.

2. I ensured that I took breaks where I could. It took discipline to not use a break for something else, but in the end, the value of a break and the productivity that followed it was far more important than ploughing on regardless.

3. I journaled. This was something I avoided for a long time because I thought it was pointless. I thought it would be time-consuming, that I’d just reinforce my problems, and that because it was popular, it couldn’t be useful. Totally wrong. Writing about the struggles I was facing with not setting boundaries was invaluable in helping me set them!

In summary…

It’s Time To Flourish

We’re called Marigold Teachers for a darn good reason.

Just like marigolds sustain and nurture the planets around them, great colleagues and managers support and inspire the staff around them to thrive.

They’re your staff room marigolds.

They’re the colleagues you turn to for advice. For positivity. For solutions rather than problems. For a shoulder to cry on. For cake.

And they’re the kinds of colleagues we always aspire to be.

Learn To Boost Your Battery Brilliance!

We love, love, love this post from Education Support UK. It’s so critical to check your battery, to asses your feelings and to be aware of what you need to do to support yourself.

What Are The Gifts That Mean The Most?

This post of ours got a great response on Facebook. It was such an important question to ask, and we just loved the responses, from rocks to graduation invitations. They were charming, heart-warming, and summed up the value and impact of what it means to be a teacher!

Go check ‘em out!

Be A Free-Thinking, Positive And Happy Teacher. Be You.

You’ve 100% got what the world throws at you this week. You’re ready to be challenged, but you’re also ready to take care of yourself and work sustainably.

And those students and colleagues that you inspire will go on to inspire others in ways you can’t possibly imagine.

You won’t always see the difference you make, but you should know how important you are, and how vital it is that you give yourself the gift of separation from work, especially when it seems hardest.

Here’s a reminder…

In next week’s issue, you’ll discover the top three strategies you can use to ask for help when you need it. So important, especially when you’re the kind of teacher who tries to do it all!

Until then, remember, you’re more than your marking, your lesson observations and your planning.

You’re you. And that’s all you need to be.