Welcome to The Flourishing Teacher’s Field Guide.

This week, we’re sharing our mindset mantras and giving you the three phrases that have revolutionised both our wellbeing and that of the teachers we work with!

Let’s jump in…

When We Change Our Thoughts, We Change Our Lives

If, like us, you’re a busy teacher juggling hundreds of tasks, interactions and expectations, you’re not going to have much time or energy left over for intensive and time-consuming wellbeing strategies.

In fact, if you are anything like me, you fall asleep in the evening long before you get the chance to read a book or write a journal.

So, we thought we’d put together our three favourite phrases for building resilience, self-belief, inner peace and health.

For a long time, I just could not get on board with the idea that a phrase or mantra could be of any tangible value.

Partly, this was because I spent a lot of my career not admitting that I was struggling to cope, partly it was because I just didn’t have time, and partly it was because no one ever introduced me to the right techniques.

In the years since, I’ve seen how changing my thoughts actively changes the quality of my life, and now I’ll never go back.

By adopting these phrases (and there’s a wealth of others out there that will work for you), you’ll find that you’re more able to manage the challenges you face, feel better about the world around you and make healthier choices.

Plus, they’re super-quick to learn and apply!

So, here are 3 phrases with the power to transform the way you live and teach…

3 Phrases To Transform The Way You Think & Teach

1. “How Does This Help Me?”

This one’s key.

There are a lot of stresses in teaching, and sometimes they can lead us to make unhealthy choices. The things we put into our bodies and the things we do with our bodies are often responses to the demands of the extraordinary job we do.

So, what am I really writing about?

Junk food, sugar, alcohol, drugs.

Consuming to excess, behaving to excess.

For a long time, that was me. I was trying to cope with the terrible anxiety I felt in my role by self-medicating with food and alcohol.

It was rarely to excess, but it was utterly consistent, to the point where I made myself pretty ill.

And that, combined with the damage I was doing to myself through stress, overwork and anxiety, was a recipe for long-term damage.

In the end, it was the phrase “How does this help me?” that rescued me.

When you challenge yourself by asking this question, you begin to change.

Asking the question before you take action is immeasurably powerful. Before you respond unhealthily, ask yourself how what you’re about to do will serve you. How will it help the future you?

And if you find yourself saying something like “This glass of wine will help me feel better right now,” and that’s how it helps me, you’re missing the point. The thing is, those masking behaviours don’t serve us. They just postpone the inevitable.

For me, asking myself this question always stops me from making a poor decision, and I know that, if you try it, it will work for you, too.

2. “Let Them”

This phrase is one that has helped me manage my temper, broadened my empathy and patience, and brought me a real sense of inner peace.

I found it challenging to start with, as I struggled to find the line between empowerment and feeling like a victim. But once I realised that it was just me who was making those distinctions and that I was creating this false divide in my head, everything fell into place.

Fundamentally, this phrase is about acceptance.

Acceptance that the actions of others are beyond your control (a tough one for us teachers) and also an acceptance that we are responsible for the way we allow ourselves to feel.

If someone doesn’t wave thank you as they cross the zebra crossing, let them.

If someone doesn’t take your good advice, let them.

If someone jumps ahead of you in a queue, let them.

On paper, it might seem as though you’re giving your power away and being a bit of a doormat.

But the opposite is true.

By giving yourself permission to think “let them”, you’re actually giving yourself permission to control your response. You’re being kind to yourself. You’re giving yourself a break from the emotions and tensions that so often come with this kind of situation.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t turn a blind eye to poor behaviour in the classroom or let a learner do less than their best. But I don’t take a negative word or reaction personally any more.

I just let that learner, colleague, family member or random motorist be who they are, safe in the knowledge that their actions won’t negatively affect me.

3. “I Get To”

There’s a huge difference in mindset between “I have to” and “I get to”.

Here’s what I mean…

When we think or say that we have to do something, we almost always generate a low level of energy, happiness and expectation.

We have to do the washing up, we have to exercise, we have to go to work.

Our lives begin to feel like a chore, and the downward negativity of this way of viewing the world (and ourselves) colours our reality.

When we have to do something, the chances are we don’t want to.

When we have to do something, the chances are it isn’t good for us.

But…

If we reframe “I have to” as “I get to”, whole new worlds of positivity and gratitude open up.

We don’t have to drive to the shops. We get to drive to the shops. We have the income, the opportunity and the resources to jump in the car and go get the food we need.

We don’t have to go to work tomorrow. We get to go to work tomorrow. We’re fortunate that we have a job, an income, and the opportunity to change lives every day.

We don’t have to stay late and sit through 30 parents' evening appointments. We get to spend some time celebrating and supporting the young people we work with.

Ultimately, when we shift from “have to” to “get to”, we check our privilege, remind ourselves of how lucky we are, reaffirm our gratitude and keep things in perspective.

And that makes it a powerful tool for transforming our lives.

What Are You Waiting For?

We believe that teachers achieve extraordinary things under challenging circumstances and that we all deserve to be valued, supported and celebrated.

That’s what this newsletter is all about.

If you haven’t subscribed yet, why not join the Marigold community? You’ll get weekly strategies for sustaining your wellbeing, avoiding burnout and flourishing as a person, not just a teacher.

And best of all..?

It’s free and always will be.

You can find out more about what to expect in this weekly newsletter here, or just go straight to our sign-up form.

Thank You For All You Do

I know we say it often, but it doesn’t make it any less true…

You do a brilliant job, brilliantly well.

If you’re struggling to remember why you do what you do, or you’re feeling unvalued, unseen or overwhelmed, just remember that we’re here, we’re rooting for you and we know what an extraordinary job you do.

Thank you, always.

Don’t forget to try out our top mantras for emotional wellbeing…

In next week’s issue, we’ll share our exclusive Beyond Balance resource, our next-level tool for leading the life you want to lead!

Until then, remember, you’re more than your marking, your lesson observations and your planning.

You’re you. And that’s all you need to be.