Welcome to The Flourishing Teacher's Field Guide.

This week, I wanted to write about something that's rarely discussed in the staffroom - the exhausting work of managing our emotions in the classroom. 

If you've ever felt drained from maintaining that 'perfect teacher' facade, this one's for you.

Let's jump in...

When Did Teaching Become Such An Emotional Performance?

I remember the exact moment I realised how much emotional labour teaching required.

I was having a particularly rough time outside of school. One of my children was very ill, I was worried about finances and on top of everything, my mum’s health was starting to fail.

If I was being honest, it was a time where I should have been looking after myself, relying on loved ones to support me and prioritising my emotional authenticity.

But the second I walked into my classroom, I switched on my 'teacher smile' and bounced through lessons with apparently boundless enthusiasm.

It didn’t take me long to feel exhausted. Not from the teaching itself but from the constant emotional performance.

The thing is, nobody had ever taught me how to manage this aspect of teaching - the daily work of regulating my emotions to meet everyone else's needs.

I've since learned there's a name for this: emotional labour. And more importantly, there are ways to handle it that don't leave us feeling like frauds or completely drained.

Here's how...

3 Evidence-Based Strategies For Managing Your Emotional Energy

1. The Emotion-Role Framework

Think of your teaching self as having different emotional roles - each authentic, but each serving a different purpose. This isn't about being fake; it's about developing a version of yourself which is appropriate for each situation but also acknowledges your emotional needs.

Try mapping the emotional roles you regularly take on. Here are some examples:

• The enthusiastic motivator (great for whole class teaching)

• The calm supporter (perfect for one-to-one interactions)

• The firm boundary-setter (needed for behaviour management)

• The empathetic listener (ideal for pastoral care)

Let me share how this works in my own teaching day:

8:30 AM - Form Time (The Energetic Motivator) I'm deliberately upbeat and enthusiastic, setting a positive tone for the day. Even if I'm tired, I focus on genuinely finding something to be excited about with my tutor group - maybe it's celebrating someone's achievement or sharing an interesting fact.

10:15 AM - Year 11 English (The Focused Guide) Here, I need to balance encouragement with clear direction. When students are struggling with exam pressure, I consciously shift to a calm, steady presence that says "I believe in you, and here's how we'll get there."  If I’m struggling, I often try to imagine the words I need to hear, and translate these into my words to others.

12:30 PM - Difficult Conversation with a Student (The Compassionate Listener) This requires my full emotional presence. I create a deliberate transition moment before the meeting - three deep breaths, reminding myself that this student needs my understanding, not my judgment. I also remind myself that I can control my anxieties, and deserve to be my best self.

2:45 PM - Managing a Challenging Class (The Firm Leader) By now I might be feeling drained, but this group needs clear boundaries. I focus on projecting calm authority - not through acting, but by genuinely connecting with my core value of helping students feel secure through consistent expectations. If I’m struggling with the way I’m feeling, I’ll make boundaries for myself as well. I’m better if I work at an efficient 60% and give myself scope for reflection and engagement with my own emotions later than if I pretend everything’s fine.

The key isn't pretending to feel these emotions - it's about finding authentic ways to express the appropriate emotional tone for each situation. Think of it like choosing the right tool for each job, except the tools are different aspects of your genuine teaching self.

2. Emotional Bandwidth Management

In the same way that your home internet has bandwidth limits (and, if it’s anything like mine, your school internet seems to come and go), so does your emotional capacity. Understanding and respecting these limits is crucial.

We say this a lot, but you’re a person first and a teacher second.

So, create your personal emotional bandwidth scale: 

High Bandwidth Activities (Need full emotional capacity):

• Supporting distressed students

• Challenging parent conversations

• Observations or evaluations

Medium Bandwidth Activities:

• Regular teaching

• Staff meetings

• Student feedback

Low Bandwidth Activities:

• Planning

• Marking

• Administrative tasks

Where you can, schedule your day according to your bandwidth availability, not just your time.

3. The Surface-Deep Balance

Sometimes we need to manage our expressions (surface acting) - like maintaining a calm demeanour when a student is pushing your buttons. Other times, we need to actually shift our feelings (deep acting) - like genuinely finding enthusiasm for teaching the same concept for the fifth time.

Here's what works for me…

When I'm finding it hard to maintain patience with a challenging class, I don't just force a calm expression (surface). Instead, I take a moment to remember why this particular student might be struggling (deep). It's more sustainable and, honestly, more effective.

It also serves to remind me that I might be struggling just as much as they are, in my own way, and to show myself some compassion, too.

Research shows teachers who balance these approaches experience less emotional exhaustion than those who rely solely on surface acting (Chang, 2023).

Common Emotional Labour Challenges

What about when it all gets too much? 

Well, first and foremost, if you’re in serious emotional or psychological stress, you need to find some professional support, and take steps to safeguard yourself and those around you in the classroom.

But, assuming, like so many of us, you’re feeling functionally overwhelmed but capable, here's how to handle common emotional hurdles:

"I feel fake when I'm managing my emotions"

• Remember that being professional isn't being fake

• Focus on finding authentic ways to express appropriate emotions in a professional context

• Build transitions between emotional states

"I can't switch off my teacher mode"

• Create deliberate 'decompress' routines between work and home

• Practice emotional boundary-setting

• Develop clear role-transition signals

"I'm exhausted from constant emotional regulation"

• Implement regular emotional check-ins

• Create an emotional support network

• Plan recovery time after high-emotional labour periods

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Thank You For Everything

Every day, you walk into your classroom and give your students what they need - enthusiasm, patience, firmness and empathy. 

You regulate your emotions, manage others' feelings, and somehow keep your own heart intact through it all.

That's not just teaching - that's full-on emotional artistry.

If no one else acknowledges the skill and dedication this takes, we do. The constant shifting between roles, the emotional gymnastics, the heart you pour into your work - it's all seen, and it all matters.

Remember though, authenticity isn't about being perfect; it's about being real within professional boundaries. 

You don't have to be superhuman - you just have to be you.

Here's a quick reminder of our strategies for managing emotional labour:

Remember, you're more than your marking, your lesson observations and your planning.

You're you. And that's all you need to be.